All Posts Tagged ‘Porn

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The Spamela Anderson Burger

23 comments

This perky, beach blonde classic is stacked with all kinds of salty, sweet and is not afraid to flaunt it. Sandwiched between a sun-kissed pineapple upside down cake, sits a beef patty ground with spam, crispy jalapeno rubbed bacon, and a gorgeous sharp cheddar riesling sauce. Playboy, call me.

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That Special Sauce

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I’m happy to announce that the freshly minted, BURGER PERVERT EMPORIUM is now open for biznasty, and showcasing a limited run of Ryan Ford’s “Special Sauce” PornBurger tee’s. Pick one up while supplies last and let that freak flag fly.

(Orders ship starting, Feb 7th)

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The Chronic-kah Burger

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Chanukah may have already come and gone, but this stoner stack is the gift that keeps on giving: Smokey shiitake mushrooms on a nest of caramelized onions, kimchi thousand island dressing, a seared beef patty draped in melted swiss, and a couple of crispy root vegetable latkes, or as I call them — Chanukah hash. Light’er up!

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I Woke Up Like This

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No really, I did. And then I got right back in bed, fell asleep, and did it all over again. Crispy fried chicken… Cheeseburger waffles… All morning I be flossin’ on that, flawless.

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The Umilfy Burger

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There’s umami… And then there’s UMILFY. This savory bombshell of sensuality knows exactly how to get those juices flowing. Sandwiched between two squishy brioche buns, lathered in kimchi ketchup (h/t) and a black garlic aioli, this cougar comes stacked with a beef patty ground with smoked bacon, sauteed onions, marinated in black vinegar, and adorned with some white miso, parmesan bacon (h/t). Helllllo Mrs. Robinson!

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Creamed Porn

20 comments

I should probably start off by saying, I LOVE me some creamed corn porn. Fresh out of the skillet… Fresh out of the can… Whatever. This southern-sullied sexploit brings out the sinner in me. I’m talking a grass fed beef patty, ground with pork belly, topped with cheddar, creamed with corn, a cold smoked tomato, pickled okra, a crispy watercress/pea shoot salad, AND a mustard green aioli to boot. Sure, this beauty is well endowed, but since when is size an issue? I read somewhere, it’s all about the motion in the ocean… Whatever that means.

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Birthday Sex

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This burger is soooooo good, my friend Jeremih went and wrote a song about it. Now, you can have your burg-day cake and eat it too. This savory Kalamata olive, Bing cherry, and caramelized onion cake, comes layered with creamy foie gras mousse, two grass-fed beef patties, bacon, onion jam, and a truffle whipped goat cheese. Go ahead, blow out your candles and make a wish… I’ll wait.

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